"What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do u mean 'under water'?"
"They are all below 'C' level"
Teacher: "How do u think Shakespeare wrote such master pieces?"
College student: "With a pencil, maam, either a 2B or not 2B."
"Mum, teacher was asking me today if i have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school." "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when u told her u are the only child?"
She just said, "Thank goodness!"
Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "The whole body, Sir."
A school girl was having an eye test.
"Can u read out the letters on the chart on the wall?" asked the optician.
"Chart? Where?" asked the girl.
A teacher was asking her class:
"What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"
Only one hand shot up.
"Ok, answer, Joan," said the teacher. "'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'ill egal' is a sick eagle."
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
STUDENT: No, it isn't, teacher. I'm eight today.
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE : Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : George!